• CLOSETED STANCE

Few things we wish someone had told us in our teenage years of being gay

Updated: Jun 10


For the majority of us, we figure out that we are gay during our teenage years. We have interests which are unconventional from the other boys. Our style of walking, talking and our behaviour is slightly different from what is traditionally accepted by our society. Due to these small attributes which are uncontrollable, we are harassed, mocked and even bullied sometimes. These teenage years give us so many negative experiences that future seems scarier. Here are a few things I wish someone had told me when I was a teenager.

There is nothing wrong with you feeling this way!

We understand that since childhood, everyone keeps reprimanding us. They keep telling us things like don’t do this and don’t behave that way etc. All you need to remember is that there is nothing physically or psychologically wrong with you. These feeling of being attracted towards the same gender is as natural as a heterosexual guy feeling attracted towards a girl. All you need to do is to educate yourself and talk to some reliable elder who will be able to understand you and help you deal with this situation better.

It's not a phase or a lifestyle choice!

While the majority of adults would relate to me on this point, as being gay was always called a 'phase' or 'lifestyle choice'. While researching this topic, we encountered many adults who had suggested this fact. They all have heard this statement at least once while they were still in the process of coming out. Being gay was never a choice, and it was a choice, who do you think would like to live with the pain and struggle we go through daily? It's just a misconception that this culture has been adopted by the western countries as there is evidence proving that homosexuality existed in India since the ancient era.


Come out when you feel comfortable don’t let anyone force you!

There are moments in life when you realise that your partner, colleague, friends or relatives might try to force you to come out. What you need to explain to them is that coming out is a process which is personal to each individual, and you would come out when you feel most comfortable. As there is no time frame to reveal your sexual orientation, it’s a personal journey, and it depends on each individual when he decided to do it. Always remember that you're never too young or too old to come out of the closet. 


Everything gets better if you believe in yourself!

We are not going to sugarcoat anything or lie to you as we intend to keep this article as real as possible. There is a lot of negativity which we can expect coming in our lives, but believing in ourselves helps in dealing with each situation aptly. There will be days when people will try pulling you down using your sexual orientation as a vulnerability, but that’s the time you have to believe in yourself and tackle every hurdle they throw in front of you. As when you are strong and confident, the sky is your limit.



Being gay is as normal as being straight!

There will be a point in life when a lot of people will start mocking you, and telling you that you are ominous or unconventional as you have an abnormal sexual orientation. With our past experiences, we have seen how important individuals feel to be similar to each other, and if they see someone who is different, they start assuming it's faulty. In reality, it's never the situation, as all individuals are born with diversified genes, confirming that we are are a little distinct from each other. This does not mean that we can determine someone being normal based on just their ‘Sexual Orientation’.

You are not committing any sin!

Regardless of what your religious book or leaders may tell you, being homosexual is not a sin! There have been a lot of conversion therapy happening in our religious place of worship, promoting that if you even have homosexual thoughts, there is no place for you in heaven. They say that “it’s a mortal sin which can not be forgiven even after going through any penance." We would just like to assure you that “if god endorsed love, he does not discriminate between heterosexual and homosexuals when it comes to a union of two couples.

You don’t need a partner to survive!

This is a huge misconception a lot of us have grown with, that once we find ourselves a partner, everything will get easier. This is farther from reality, as it is essential to understand that when you are in a relationship, there are a lot of factors added to the dynamics of your life. Having a companion is great, but this does not mean that you cannot survive without one. The best thing to do is to first concentrate on yourself and become self-sufficient before stepping in the relationship territory.

Precaution is always better than cure!

We know that sex can be pretty exhilarating, but taking precautions is very crucial. You might be in a committed relationship, but you never know how faithful your partner is towards the relationship. The best thing you can do is to make sure you use condoms while performing oral and anal sex. This step will not only save you of HIV infection but also prevent you from other STI’s and STD’s. While condoms are quite effective, still they are not a hundred per cent safe, therefore if you have sexual encounters with multiple partners, it's recommended to meet a physician and start with PrEP. It's also essential to get yourself tested for STD's and STI's every three months to be on a safer side.

(I hope you agree with our picks and if there are some points you wish to add, please do that in the comment section below. If possible don’t forget to subscribe to our website as it will encourage us to write more fabulous and relevant content for you all. If you have a blog or writeup you wish to feature on this website, mail it to us on closetedstance@gmail.com and we shall make sure to give you the byline.)

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